\u201cCan\nblack men not be the white people of black people?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n That was the eye-raising comment on my Facebook\ntimeline one day that made me stop everything I was doing to follow\nalong\u00a0because there was so much truth in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the most part, this is a forbidden topic for black women. The world already hates\u00a0black men enough for the both of us, so we try to keep any issues we have with them to ourselves.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n To be the black woman who speaks down or holds our male counterparts accountable is to be brave. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n True to double standards\u00a0black men are, however,\nfree to attack black women\u2019s character and then collectively smash\nour esteem into millions of pieces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not sure how it looks from the\u00a0outside looking in, but from the inside, it\u2019s easy to see that black men are one of the most toxic, hateful and demeaning groups \u2026 to their own community \u2026 but black women especially.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n For centuries, black women have been the spine that helped to hold black men up as they walked into the world that feared their beauty, their glory, and their history (before slavery we were Kings and Queens!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, up until recent decades, we were adored and\ntreated as such.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through the years, black women\u2019s roles have\nshifted and changed as the hardships that have hit black community\nshifted and changed. While I\u2019m sure that\u2019s had an impact on black\nmen, for better or worse, it\u2019s not the sole issue.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The heroin\u00a0epidemic<\/a>,\nBill\nClinton\u2019s 1994 crime bill<\/a>, police\nbrutality<\/a>, and generally deadbeat black men are all to blame for\nthe dramatic decrease of men remaining in black households.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Black men must start to realize that the system is\nrigged against them \u2014 leaving no room for error \u2014 not even for\nthe pettiest of crimes. The judicial system has different standards\nfor black men (and women) \u2014 slave standards. The system looks at us\nand wonders how to do away with us.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s time for black men to beat the system and make a\nlegitimate way\u00a0\u2014 no matter the disadvantages that are standing\nin their way of advancement. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I\u2019ll tell you what the solution isn\u2019t:\nThe solution isn\u2019t blaming black\nwomen\u2019s independence<\/a> for your woes. <\/strong>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Black women are known for their strength and ability\nto adapt; that\u2019s what we\u2019ve had to do in order to ensure the survival\nof our families while our men were away whether they were sold off to\nanother plantation, killed, or imprisoned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although black men\u2019s anger and aggression are taken\nout on us every day, I think on an\u00a0unconscious level black men\nare more upset with themselves for failing time and time again\n(hypothetically their belief, not my own).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Black men have been forced to turn a blind eye while\ntheir women were raped and beaten, and then having to show a great\nlevel of respect to that very man \u2014 his wife<\/a>\u2018s\nrapist. (Yes, black men and women are still mentally impacted by the\nactions of slavery today.)\u00a0They\u2019re powerless against a system\nthat anticipates and works toward their demise, and this stifles\ntheir growth.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, black women continue to rise above\ntransgressions against as black men stand on the sidelines envying\nthe strength that\u2019s given us the courage to heal while their male\negos won\u2019t allow them to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/misfitsforchange.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/images.jpg\")
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